You know that feeling that you get when you’re on your very last nerve about something—or someone—and then ONE MORE THING happens—and it sets off a formerly invisible tripwire that launches you headlong into an absolutely unrepentant arrogant act? Something you would never do if you were in your “right mind” and something, given the cold light of day, that you will absolutely regret?

 

Oh yeah, my Darlings. How absolutely human of you!

 

As I write this—after doing this exact thing just last week—I am humbled by how human it is and how normal it is to blow up like that when you are doing your level best to be GOOD.

 

To let things slide.

 

To “be the bigger person” and to avoid those difficult conversations that few people want to have.

 

(And hey, I TEACH this stuff, and I can still get caught in it just like anyone else. My only sorcery is to see where I am sooner rather than later and to do my best to move forward by taking care of myself and then adding what I learn to our Playbook…)

 

Welcome to the holiday season. My heartfelt wishes for you are to benefit from my mistakes (see below) and to have a truly nourishing holiday as we leave 2023 behind us and welcome a new start for ourselves in 2024.

 

 

What is it about the holidays that brings out such high emotions for so many of us? I’m not saying that this is always a bad thing: high emotions like delight and gratitude and joy are the hallmark of the season that we all want to embrace—and nobody needs a Playbook for that.

 

 

AND yet…

 

Disappointment, unwelcome expectations, and deep-seated feelings of grief, loss and frustration are also the hallmark of the season for some of us—despite our best intentions. It’s almost like we can feel these emotions emerging from the depths of our Unconscious the moment December arrives.

 

Since I am one of those folks for whom this has been true for decades, and since my recent tripwire experience has reminded me that my best intentions will only take me so far, my holiday Communication Sorcery this year is dedicated to those of you who find yourself in these same shoes this season.

 

Paying attention to where you’re at and where your personal tripwire resides will make all the difference in your ability to maneuver through the holidays. And trust me: you are certainly not alone! There are lots of us who are right here with you.

 

 

It would be just like me to map this stuff out so I can maneuver through it—and this year I finally got it that just because I have a map, doesn’t mean I’m going to use it when I need to. A map is only one option—and so often it simply needs to be updated.

 

So this year I’m giving myself three simple guidelines. They have been working pretty well for me, so perhaps you will find them useful, too.

 

#1. Give myself huge amounts of Grace. This year I’ve finally come clean about the fact that the holidays provide me with two solid weeks of in-my-face choices: do I want to surrender to the deep-seated grief I experience every year around this time OR do I want to give myself the freedom to take care of myself, no matter what that looks like to anyone else? After my recent tripwire experience, I’ve gotten rigorous about self-care, and I can feel increasing levels of peace in my whole body.

 

#2. Have a Coke & A Smile—and, as Eddie Murphy once famously said—Shut the F*ck UP, when it comes to responding to anyone else’s behavior. What makes this so USEFUL is my deepening belief that if I have to take tender care of myself this season, so does everyone else. This allows me to decide that whatever “nutty” or “irresponsible” or “unkind/thoughtless/sh*tty” behavior shows up from anyone in my life is simply THEIR way of rigorous self-care. ALL of it gets a total free pass from me.  (And yeah, I forgot this last week when I made someone else’s behavior my business to correct…Although it did not go well, it was a vibrant wake-up call to remember this practice that I am thankful for.)

 

#3. Find Ways to Surround Myself in JOY. This year I’ve gotten more skilled in picking up JOY—which shows up in a variety of ways. For instance: having laughing conversations with people whose presence fills my Soul, moving my body and using my voice (often while dancing energetically & singing at the top of my lungs to a series of BTS playlists—no surprise that this is how I invented my BTS Walks) and immersing myself in learning something new that fires up my brain as equally as it nourishes my Soul. One more way I surround myself in JOY is to create Soul-nourishing programs/posts that spread Enthusiasm and Inspiration around the globe. OMG! When I can translate my experience into something that you will find useful, it lights me right up—frankly, this is the secret to all of my sorcery.

 

 

One of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver, wrote, “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?” I’m going to shamelessly paraphrase her as I leave you with my very last question of 2023:

 

 

Wishing you a truly gorgeous rest of the year! See you again in January 2024!

 

Until next year…

 

In trust and appreciation forever,

Maia