You know that feeling you get when some thought you’re having about something—or someone—seems to grow SO BIG that it practically drags you off to some subterranean dungeon and proceeds to pound the crap out of you?? And you feel so wrung out, you can hardly breathe—and then you can’t figure out how to escape??
OH YEAH.
Me, too—and recently.
You’d think that a sorceress like me would never get caught up in something like that—and usually, I don’t. (Not anymore. Although I know ALL about this from spending lots of time in those dungeons in my early days.)
This time the emotion was so big—and so old—that I had to call in another sorceress (coach) to help me find my way out.
It totally helps to have no pride and no shame when it comes to requesting assistance—I highly recommend it. Here’s why: there are some things that we’re more effective at sorting through in the presence of a loving witness. Because we can’t solve a problem in the same emotional state in which it was created, that loving witness can help us shift our attention and call forth our Unconscious internal resources.
That’s exactly what happened—and the process my coach and I went through nourished me so much that it has become something I now use all the time. It’s simply too juicy to keep to myself—and you’re the first one I want to share it with.
It’s been a few weeks since it happened, so I’ve had the time to create a 3-step structure for it. (I don’t mind saying that it’s very cool!)
See What You Think
These are three simple steps you can use yourself—although when you do it the first time, it helps tremendously to share it with someone you trust. The cool thing is that not only does it work on those everyday bothersome emotions, it gives you an instant doorway out of that subterranean dungeon; once you’re out, you have the space to decide what you want to do next.
Step ONE = The moment you pay attention to your experience—when you step outside of feeling it and examine it—you break the spell. No matter what big hairy emotion has dragged you off to its dungeon, I’m here to tell you this experience is only a function of your Conscious Mind. Here’s some hugely useful neuroscience that you can use immediately:
- Your conscious experience is only 3 to 5% of everything that’s possible—that includes that big hairy emotion and their dungeon, too! This means that the rest of the (limitless) possibilities are simply outside of your awareness, and guess what? You can change that too. Here’s why:
- Your Conscious Mind has only ONE JOB: to pay attention. Although it’s truly awesome at it, you have to decide what you want it to pay attention to. And you can shift your attention any time you choose to (just like those cartoon dogs in the movie UP: “SQUIRREL!!!”)
- Choosing to shift your experience to something else is the spell-breaker—and it’s totally different from exploring “why” you’re stuck in that dungeon. This is exactly what Dorothy did in The Wizard of Oz: she clicked her heels and chose something else. (Glinda wasn’t kidding when she admitted that, as true as it was, this was hard to believe…)
Step TWO = BREATHE. Take the time to settle into your body now that you’re outta that dungeon. (You will feel the difference immediately.) Although there are lots of breathing exercises you can do, this is the simplest, easiest, Go-To one for me, and I want you to have it, too.
- Breathe out first—and then breathe in through your nose for a slow count of 4.
- Hold that breath peacefully for an easy count of 7.
- Slowly blow that breath out through your mouth for an easy count of 8.
- Repeat several times until you’re feeling gorgeously nourished (and I’m not kidding about this). Although I recommend at least three rounds, you can do this for as long as you like, anytime you like.
Step THREE = Now that you’re feeling gorgeously nourished, you can access your Imagination, which lives in your Unconscious. Another fun fact from neuroscience: our Unconscious contains 95-97% of everything we experience. This is an amazing, goldmine of a playground to tap into! Now here’s where it gets truly glorious:
- Imagine you have Unlimited Cosmic Power to create the most nourishing space for yourself right now. (My space was a beautiful deep clear lake; my dear friend in Sydney, Australia chose “the night sky full of stars.”)
- Now here’s the sorcery of this step: Imagine that you ARE that beautiful space. (“I AM THE LAKE”…”I AM THE NIGHT SKY FULL OF STARS.”). Since your Conscious Mind is always paying attention, it will instantly expand to give you this experience. “Oh My WOW”—that’s how BEING the Lake felt to me in that moment. I had never before felt anything like this in all of my 71 years OR in all of my 40+ yeas of doing this transformational work. At the same time that I felt totally blown away—I have never felt so calm, so solid, and so…yeah…PERFECT. And now that I have created that space, it lives forever in my Unconscious, and I can call it up to play in anytime I want.
The Very Best Part
Less than 48 hours after experiencing what it feels like to “BE the Lake”, I had the chance to put this strategy into play. After a relatively sleepless night, I was late for a meeting 30 minutes away by car, traffic was insane (WHERE did all those 18-wheelers come from??) and my phone was apparently possessed by a demon. For a wild moment, I was caught up in the chaos and about to step right into full blown overwhelm. Then I caught my scream of frustration just as it was emerging from my throat amidst my heaving chest when I saw my bulging eyes reflected back to me in the rearview mirror—and pulled myself up sharply and said “OH HELL NO. We’re not doing this right now. I AM THE LAKE.”
My shift was instant. At my core, I felt the cool, the deep, the peace—sitting at a red light. I drove on to my appointment in quiet and peace, despite all the nuttiness on the road and the circumstances of my morning. I arrived at my appointment grounded and centered—and that’s when I realized that this is something powerful that I want to share with everyone on the planet.
You, Too
This morning I was out before dawn for my walk. The night sky was still full of stars and it brought me thoughts of my friend—and all I have learned from her—as if she was right beside me. I imagined us laughing in delight together at the power of the Unconscious. Across the world in Sydney Australia, she was getting ready to end her day and head for bed; yet when I texted her, she instantly typed right back. The magic of our WhatsApp video call allowed us to share the night sky in my world as if she was right beside me, laughing in the dark.
Now the stars connect us in a way we had never considered before our truly random conversation from across the world this morning. As we ended our call, we each left with the surety that we ARE the Night Sky Full of Stars.
So as Thanksgiving rolls around here in the US, I hope you’ll take our strategy out for a spin when you need it, so you can discover—whenever you choose—that:
So as Thanksgiving rolls around here in the US, I hope you’ll take our strategy out for a spin when you need it, so you can discover—whenever you choose—that:
You, too, ARE The Night Sky Full of Stars.
This week: Do whatever you like that nourishes your Soul.
Happy Thanksgiving! When I count my Blessings, I always count you.
Important Note: All you’re doing this week
is PLAYING & EXPLORING.
is PLAYING & EXPLORING.
There’s NOTHING to SOLVE—and EVERYTHING TO DISCOVER.
Until next week…
In trust and appreciation forever,
Maia