You know that feeling you get when you can’t think of a single positive thing about yourself? Or when somebody gives you a compliment and you have to hold yourself back from giving them chapter and verse on why they are totally wrong about you? Or when you think about looking up the term “Imposter Syndrome” in the dictionary, you’re pretty sure that there will be a photo of you as the definition?

 

OK. That last one was for the laugh. Although if you’re anything like me and many of my clients over the years, that laugh often covers up a painful belief about yourself…

 

And I am ALL ABOUT uncovering those painful beliefs you may hold about yourself, so you can get their lesson and let them go. That work is at the very heart of Everyday Communication Sorcery—no surprise that I eat that stuff for breakfast!

 

And yet over the past month, I have uncovered something about my own painful beliefs that surprised the heck out of me because it unlocked something huge that has truly changed EVERYTHING about how I live my life.

 

I KNOW. It’s crazy.

 

How the heck can I put all that into words in this Playbook? I have such a strong feeling that there’s something here that could make as big a difference for you as it has for me—so how about we do it in two parts? Maybe three.

 

OK. So it all began when…

 

 

About two months ago, I started a new course with my coach—the woman is half my age, yet she continues to create content that consistently deepens my ability to be1000% MAIA and expand my capacity to do this work that I love.

 

This new course introduced me to the idea of “standing on the shores of emptiness,” which simply means that you’re able to be still enough inside your own head to be fully present to what’s happening in front of your face. Although in the western world we tend to confuse “emptiness” with “lack,” in the eastern world, emptiness is a powerful resource.

 

So. With the goal of being able to be still enough—without all the non-stop self-talk we often fill that potential emptiness with—here are two practices I just learned that anyone can use to help you stand on that shore:

These two practices have heightened my ability to be completely present with myself in ways I never have before—which blows my mind, since I’ve been doing this work for over four decades!

 

As a result, I’ve become even more sensitive to everything around me and even more quick to respond to whatever is happening in the present moment. I’ve taken back my attention from all the noise that’s outside of me and started paying attention to the stillness within.

 

Now here’s the wild thing: the more I refuse to chase anything or escape anything, the calmer I feel. The more calm I feel, the happier I feel and the more energy I have. Several of my friends who haven’t seen me in a while have recently asked me what I’m doing to look so good—and they don’t even know each other—so I know I’m onto something.

 

 

So about a month ago, I’m watching this K-Drama: A Daily Dose of Sunshine, a “slice of Life” show with a focus on mental health in a hospital ward. I’m 20 minutes into Episode 2 and I recognize that I’m having a full-body reaction to a character in the story. All of a sudden, I can’t breathe. I’m upset for “no reason” and I instinctively turn off the show and get up and walk outside to get some big gulps of fresh air in my lungs.
 

 

Now here’s the fun part—although it wasn’t any fun at the time—I’m very clear that my body was reacting to something I was not yet conscious about. While it was important that I turn off the program, it was crucial that I stay with the emotions that the show was triggering in me so I could get the message my body was trying to send me.

 

The character who set off those alarms in my body was a guy whose new boss began to systematically beat him down and humiliate him in every way possible—albeit slowly and insidiously. This man, who had been very successful, suddenly begins to doubt his professional abilities so deeply that he ultimately tries to take his own life—and ends up in the hospital.

 

In the space of less than 10 minutes, this show immersed me in the reality of how one person could systematically destroy the Spirit of another and make that destruction feel normal. As often as I have coached my clients through working with insensitive bosses—and as well as I was able to maneuver my way through a boss like this 20 years ago—I had never watched this action from the outside.

 

Next week I’ll show you how “standing on the shores of emptiness” helped me to decipher the message I was getting from my physical response to this K-Drama episode.

 

This week—if you’re intrigued by what you’ve read—I invite you to play around with the practices of:

Have a phenomenal week!