You know that feeling you get when you’re beating yourself up inside your own head about some trivial thing you did—or didn’t do—and all you can do in response is bow your head and keep it coming?

 

WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT?!!

 

And don’t think I’m pointing fingers here, either. I spent the first 35 years of my life doing just that—and I totally get how easy it is to fall into that big black hole of self-abuse and self-loathing.

 

(Even though we never call it that—we always think of it in terms of “getting our sh*t together” or “keeping ourselves in line” or “helping ourselves to straighten up and fly right.”

 

Trust me on this one—you are SOOOOOOO NOT ALONE.

 

Even so—are you having any FUN with this? (I know, right?!!)

 

 

Although it’s been decades since I spent any time beating myself up like that, it’s only in the past 90 days that I got a clue about how we all get there. I’ve come to call it “gaslit” because I’ve discovered that the practice of socializing children to be obedient to parents and teachers and preachers is the exact same process that anyone uses to gaslight another human being.

 

The hallmarks of being gaslit are:

Now you know how we keep ourselves in a prison of our own making—even though somebody else helped us build it.

 

Once you recognize what’s been done to you, you’re well on your way to breaking free.

 

 

Now all you have to do is TALK BACK.

 

It’s funny how such a simple practice can feel so complicated when you’ve been silently taking in all that self-abuse for most of your life. The good news is that just by reading this post, you’ve already accomplished the first step to talking back—which is finally seeing that it’s an option.

 

That’s what this week’s Playbook is all about.

 

Before we dig any deeper into how to do this, it’s worth mentioning that three decades before I discovered the idea of gaslighting/being gaslit, I was trained to identify those negative voices in our heads. I learned exactly how they work and what to do about them, so I could break through my own and share with my clients how they could do it, too.

 

 

My teachers called them “gremlins” because they were a lot like the gremlins you see in the movies:

FUN FACT: Gremlins aren’t obvious all the time. In fact, they only show up in certain contexts—like the ones where you doubt yourself or don’t trust yourself.

 

For instance, you’ve heard the term, “imposter syndrome”?

 

 

They never show up when you thoroughly feel good and are absolutely sure of yourself. That’s no fun for them because you’re not listening to their sh*t.

 

The most effective way to find your own Gremlins is to look in the places where you feel “less than”. What are those contexts for you?

 

To get you started, here are a few of common places where yours might be hanging out:

 

It turns out that these Gremlins are the parts of you who are trying to keep you SAFE. They simply have a really sh*tty way of doing it because they picked up a lot of bad habits while you were being gaslit. The only way to break free of them is to TALK BACK.

 

Remember: this is all happening inside your own head—the one place on the planet where you have UNLIMITED COSMIC POWER.

 

 

If you’re ready to talk back, your next step is to increase your awareness of the existence of your own Gremlins.

 

Now you know—whenever you hear that sh*t-talking going on in your head, odds are exceptionally high that a Gremlin has stepped in to keep you in line.

 

 

When you’re ready to talk back, I have a simple recipe that anyone can use. It’s my “Out The GREMLIN” recipe that’s been so useful over the past 30 years, helping me–and hundreds of my clients–to start talking back.

 

 

Before you can talk back, you have to find out WHO you’re gonna do it to. That’s my invitation to you for this week: Look for your Gremlins.  

Have some fun with it. I promise you’ll be surprised at the difference: when you hear that sh*t-talking going on in your head—and, instead of bowing your head and taking it–you say, “OMG! I just caught a Gremlin”

 

Meanwhile, you can use the #1 Gaslit Antidote (Talk Nice To Yourself) to keep those Gremlins in line until you’ve got that recipe.

 

Wanna know more? Stay tuned next week when I show you exactly WHY it works so you can be ready to use it yourself.

 

Happy Gremlin Hunting.