If that title seems ridiculous to you, you’re in very good company. Since we were kids, we’ve been taught to believe that “only babies” have feelings, that as we grow up, we grow out of feeling into thinking.

We’ve been taught that:

• it’s thinking that differentiates humans from all other life on the planet; it’s thinking that gives us the right of dominion.
• “sissy” is the word for any male human who exhibits any feelings—it’s “cool and logical” that makes a man.
• women in the workforce need to leave their feelings at home in order to be considered professionals—with the underlying message: “if you can’t keep yourself at home, the least you can do is keep your feelings there.” (Taken to the extreme, this idea has us believing that women and men come from two different planets, which couldn’t be further from reality.)

So why would any self-respecting professional want to acknowledge their feelings—let alone befriend them?

Good point.

I mean, it would be a good point if you discount the idea that we’ve been misinformed for centuries about the true nature of our humanity. As a result of the instructions we’ve received from a variety of “authorities” we’ve learned to mistrust our feelings—some of us to the point of feeling shame when any feelings emerge.

Full Disclosure: I am a human who has never taken a breath without a feeling. For much of my early life, my feelings were seriously holding me back from success—until I discovered just how much crucial information I was leaving on the table by ignoring them. My situation prompted me to find out everything I could about the nature of feelings. The success I have found in my 40 years of searching, finding, and sharing has led me to this conversation with you.

So let’s go back to human nature for a moment. From childhood on, who are the ones you most want to be around and spend time with? Your friends, right? These are the folks who you know the best and like the most.

Before they were your friends, though, you had to meet them, get to know them, and spend time with them. The more time you spent with those people, the deeper your friendships got.

So this week, I invite you to consider the possibility that you can make friends with your feelings in the exact same way:

1. Be curious and interested: like any friendship, this one requires your interest and curiosity to get off the ground.
2. Spend time with them: when you have a feeling, give yourself 90 seconds to experience it without trying to shut it down or ignore it. The more you do this, the easier it gets.
3. Observe them—and see what you discover: every feeling has a message for you. The more you welcome your feelings, the easier it is for that message to come through.

Next week, we’ll put all this into play with some real situations.

Play of the week: Try out these three steps and see what happens. The Big Win here is to consider the possibility that these steps have merit—something you can only prove one way or the other by trying them out.

Important Note: All you’re doing this week is exploring.

There’s no way to screw this up.