You know that feeling you get when you come back from an energizing and inspiring conference and discover that your fatigue and coughing isn’t just jet lag or a response to the unnatural environment of extended flight time—it’s COVID?
UGH. Not fun. (And maybe even embarrassing—when you realize that you were fully stocked with K95 masks and never used them?)
UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH.
You might even be tempted to beat yourself up—even just a little—for being so “ignorant.”
You might feel really crappy that your beloved family members also came down with COVID, for no other reason than supporting your travel and welcoming you home with open arms.
As tempting as it might be to engage in some personal SMITING, I invite you engage in some Everyday Communication Sorcery instead.
Here’s WHY:
- Beating yourself up for ANY reason never does you—or anyone else—any good. It simply makes you feel crappy in a challenging situation. What makes this even worse is that beating yourself up puts you on the defense, so thinking is totally off the table. All you can do is fight, fly or freeze. (NOT a winning combination!)
- Everyday Communication Sorcery helps you to choose how you want to feel—something you can only do when you have full access to your brain. Breathing is the key to get that full access. You can at any moment, in any circumstance, choose to stop and breathe. That’s where the sorcery happens. That’s where you consider “What would I rather feel right now?” and put that in motion.
- When you choose to feel something positive in the midst of crappy circumstances, you override your biological instinct to fight, fly or freeze. (Fortunately, it’s physically impossible to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time.) This includes dealing with COVID—because a positive mindset can reduce your symptoms and decrease your recovery time. (More about the science behind this in a moment.)
The 411
Last week I returned home from my first post COVID conference (something I’ll write more about in future posts) with COVID.
It took me about 24 hours to get home from Las Vegas in bad weather and travel delays. After my 3 am arrival home on Friday, it took another 24 hours for my husband Chuck to recommend a COVID test since I seemed unreasonably out-of-breath. Within 48 hours, he and my 92-year-old mother-in-law had my same cough and tested positive as well.
When that happened, I spent about 15 minutes feeling pretty crappy about what I had brought home to them, simply because I missed that one detail of using the masks I had brought with me. Fortunately, I simply felt regret; before my ancient practice of self-smiting could kick in, my regular practice of Everyday Communication Sorcery came to my rescue.
Here’s what I discovered in the process:
- COVID is real—and it’s here to stay. Now I know there’s no escape, even though this is my first up-close-and-personal experience with it.
- Travel anywhere is made safer by wearing a K95 mask—even though its aggravating if you wear glasses like I do. A few hours in a mask beat the daylights out of a week with COVID!
- Nobody means to bring home COVID. When we do, the best remedy is to forgive ourselves our temporary lapse in judgement and embrace the opportunity to get off the grid and rest. When all I could do last week was lay around, I found it was a lot more enjoyable once I surrendered to the idea that this was my best option for a speedy recovery.
How About LOVE? Where Does That Come In?
Here’s the kicker: it turns out that Love is a powerful force for healing because its presence boosts your immune system!
Exactly as I discovered in my COVID adventure, loving myself—and feeling loved by my family—despite my error in judgement reduced my symptoms and decreased my recovery time. My first bout of this disease, based on all the horror stories I’ve heard and witnessed, was an unexpectedly mild case. It was more like a bad cold. Focusing on love surprised me as my best remedy.
That’s not just me talking—there is science behind my experience, Neuroscience research from UT Austin indicates that LOVE—feeling loved—has powerful health benefits that include lowering blood pressure, decreasing anxiety and stress levels, easing acute or chronic pain, supporting a healthy gut, and even improving your sleep.
That’s not just me talking—there is science behind my experience, Neuroscience research from UT Austin indicates that LOVE—feeling loved—has powerful health benefits that include lowering blood pressure, decreasing anxiety and stress levels, easing acute or chronic pain, supporting a healthy gut, and even improving your sleep.
My favorite neuroscientist of all time, Candace Pert, says, “Love often leads to healing, while fear and isolation breed illness.”
So yeah. Love in the midst of COVID—in the midst of everything—is the proverbial “key to the kingdom.”
My dearest friend and creative partner, Cindy Ho, often reminds me. “ALL parts of you are welcome here.”
So that’s my version of Love this week: loving all the parts of me, including the part who brought home COVID, the part who didn’t wear her mask, the part who lost a week of work and disappeared.
This week I am sending you armfuls of Love for every part of you. No matter where you are, who you’re with or what you’re doing (or not doing.)
All parts of you are welcome here.