Your first travel accessory is The Gears ~ you packed those on Monday. Today’s accessory is the secret to Listening, and having the Gears with you is the secret to making it easier.
Do you want to listen to someone else? That’s when you need to shift into 2nd Gear. The only way to understand their message is to consider what they’re saying from their perspective.
This is easy to do with someone you love and relatively easy to do with someone you like.
It’s a lot harder when you don’t know — or don’t like– the other person. That’s what makes 2nd Gear such a powerful accessory for your Journey.
You can shift into 2nd Gear, any time you like, when you get curious. Ask yourself this question: “What could be true for this person right now so (whatever she’s saying) makes sense to her?” The trick here is to practice shifting in and out of these first two Gears. Use 1st Gear when you”re speaking and 2nd Gear when you’re listening.
The Secret to Listening
When you listen in 2nd Gear, you have the ability to:
- listen to the actual words
- listen with acceptance of the person and what they’re saying
- listen as if the speaker could contribute to you
- listen for what is not being said, as well as what is
- judging, to analyze what’s being said, so you can prepare your argument against it
- invalidating the speaker, because you “know better”
- ready to interrupt, to dispute the message look for what’s wrong with what is being said
- trying to control the outcome of the conversation